The Club

What Arsenal would be like this season if you believe the press

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According to the deeply ‘Arsenophobic’ British media, everyone wants out of the Gunners. A large majority of the British papers, tabloids and websites are reporting of gloom at Ashburton Grove. Seemingly, the open secret of Cesc Fabregas’ affair with Barcelona is not enough. French playmaker Samir Nasri, according to them, turned down a contract extension offer from Arsenal and wants to move to Manchester United, Manchester City, AS Roma, Inter Milan or even Chelsea. Gael Clichy, Arsenal’s only remaining member of the invincibles wants a move away from the Emirates with AS Roma, Liverpool, PSG and Manchester City ready to snap him up while winger Theodore James Walcott is wanted by Chelsea’s new boss Andre-villas Boas.

Vice-captain Robin van Persie is alarmed at the clear out at Arsenal and has also grown tired with the lack of silverware hence wants to move to Tottenham Hotspurs to win trophies. The world’s funniest man, Emmanuel Eboue is looking for a switch to either White Hart Lane or QPR. The ‘world best striker’ Nicklas Bendtner wants to move to Sporting Lisbon or Borussia Dortmund to play in his preferred position. Neves Denilson Perreira is tired of waiting for trophies and wants to go to Roma to realise his dream. Even the russian assasin Andrei Arshavin is wanted by Turkish giants Galatasaray.

Blues owner Roman Abromavich, meanwhile, wants to poach Gunners chief scout Steve Rowley. And as if that is not enough, Arsenal is being linked to all sellable players especially if they are British and burly. Arsenal want to sign Cahill and Samba to replace the awful Djourou and Koscielny. Wenger is targeting the disciplined Scott Parker to replace the slow and wasteful Alex Song. The club wants Leighton Baines or Jose Enrique to replace Clichy. They also intend to sign Argentinian Ricardo Alvarez to take up Fabregas’ position. Juan Mata will be brought in to replace Nasri while Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Gervinho have already been drafted in to replace Walcott and Bendtner.

The media continues to balance its imaginary squadsheet by buying John O’Shea to replace Eboue. David Villa, Karim Benzema, Samuel Eto’o, Pedro, Lassana Diara, Aly Cissokho, Daniel de Rossi, Jeremy Menez, Eden Hazard, Neven Subotic, Mathieu Valbuena and Gianluigi Buffon are all headed to north London. No wonder the traffic snarl-up near the Emirates. But Arsenal fans need to sample these stories with some sense of maturity.

When I was young, I only used to trust the BBC and Skysporst for transfer news. But nowdays I wait till Arsenal.com announce any transfer deals. How am I going to believe the same people who told me Cesc had signed a contract with Barca last summer after the World Cup and now they are reporting that Barca still want him? According to the media, Chamberlain’s was a done deal by May. Gervinho and Alvarez had already been signed last week. Yet this week we are told no bids have been tabled. The Mirror reported that Van Persie and Eboue didn’t want to leave the Gunners, now it is saying they want to leave. Next week there are going to be reports of many more rumours.

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  • Dave Highbury says:

    errr The media has revealed it’s ugly face through football. Their reason? They don’t like the fact that Arsenal football club are competing within their means, and that you CAN gain success without buying it. They can’t take it… but they’ll have to. Let them dig their own graves. There is enough suable material to take them all to the cleaners – I’m personally loving it.

  • tay says:

    good post. im with you all the way on this

  • John Sutt says:

    Fantastic post, sir. I agree completely with everything you have stated. Every morning I wake to find another player being linked to us….

  • silah says:

    Finally a post that makes sense!

  • joekaruga says:

    good post i agree this are just stupid rumors

  • khamis says:

    nice post i agree with you

  • bc says:

    At last someone with a bit of sense. Everyone needs to look at the facts. The fact is Arsenal already have 26 players over the age of 21. This means as it stands the board will not ssanction any more purchases of players over 21 until some are sold or have agreed season long loan deals. United have only signed 3 players one is under 21 the other 2 are only possible because 6 players have left the club, 4 permanent and 2 on loan. The other spaces have been taken up by players becoming 21. So until they sell or arrange more loans they will not buy anymore either. This is why the transfer market is a little slow. The 25 man rule is really having an effect for the first time. Next year it will be even slower, we will have another 7 players joining the 25 man squad, so they has to be taken into consideration as well.

  • para says:

    I swear every evening i will not look at arsenal news again until August.
    But i wake up and turn the PC on, only to see the same drivel again and again, what punishment do i put myself through?
    Thanks for a readable article.

  • Arsenal1 says:

    Good post, however I still find BBC and Sky Sports good for rumors because they are never far fetched and actually happen sometimes. We app must admit though, the tabloid rumors are extremely fun to read because of looking at hoe low writers are willing to go.

  • TrueWisdom says:

    Rumours are really stupid. I could write an article for a well known newspaper saying any random bullshit and people will believe it. Which is why I’d rather wait for the season to start so I can see who signed. By the way, does anyone have a site that contains actual transfer information? Much appreciated. Gunners4Life

  • ekalet godfrey says:

    wenger should atleast buy some good players

  • zdzis says:

    A big hand to the author! I second that emotion!

  • alex says:

    viviano sagna jagielka vermaelen enrique wilshere vidal song gervinho benzema alvarez this would be the arsenal if we belived the press

  • Malaysian Fan says:

    I hope coach Arsene Wenger can think about it to swap or buy kaka from Real Madrid.

  • nicky says:

    Ever since the 1930’s when managers skilled in PR took over at Arsenal, the Club has been news. Either good news or bad and if no news, it was made-up news.
    Today, nothing has changed. Because the Arsenal way in transfers is to keep everything tight until pen has been put to paper, the media has no alternative other than to concoct stories if the public interest in the Club is to be satified.
    And who can blame Arsenal for the secrecy over transfers. As soon as news gets out that the Club are interested in a player, his value escalates and other clubs become involved.
    Fans with experience will always ignore all media information and only relie on what emerges oficially from the Emirates. It’s the best way.

  • David says:

    Gud one guy,my Bp is almost escalating each time i read rubbish post arsenal…we sud neva mind dem cos dey r enemy of progress.

  • anthony says:

    Excellent article and i must say i 2 have been fooled into the sinking ship scenario the media portrays,i believe my lack of faith was breeded by the frustrations of us not winning a trophy,your comments has restored this faith and when u actually look back on it,we are the only top side not to have splashed the cash & prove that are youngsters can compete for the title let alone be good enough to play consistantly above standards in the greatest league in the world,surely that is evidence enough that we are quite the opposite of total collapse…Well done Mr Gooner for those stern comments..hats off..

  • Kevin osore says:

    These guys forget that not even their british darling,alex ferguson could have competed with the budget wenger has been operating on

  • david raphael says:

    IF IT IS MATTER OF ACCUMULATING WEALTH WENGER HAVE ACCUMULATED A LOT. SO IF ARSENAL IS THE PLACE OF ACCUMULATING WELTH HE SHOULD LEAVE FOR OTHERS TO ACCUMULATE .IM SAYING THIS BCS WE AS FANS OF ARSENAL TEAM WE ARE TIRED AND IT SEEMS THAT WINNING TROPHIES IS NOT A SPECIFIC OBJECTIVE OF ARSENE WENGER.LETS SACK HIM!!!

  • Donnyfan1 says:

    The Press may be full of nutter fantasists but they are nothing compared to the nutters who swallow the garbage they churn out. If you can.t laugh at it—don’t read it!!

  • Shevo says:

    So who would you have in place of Wenger once you’ve sacked him you dumb schmuck. No other manager could have worked within the constraints put on him by the financial restrictions that had to be imposed the clubs move to the emirates. Of course we are all frustrated by the lack of trophies over the last few seasons and yes a few key signings in certain areas over the last couple of might have changed that. However ARSENE now accepts his error and Im sure will not make
    this mistake again. The club just need to loosen the purse strings and let him sign the players we need to turn a very good team into a great one. As this blog states dont let the media fuck your brains up with their continuous speculative bollocks. Arsene will know who he wants to buy and sell and will let the whole world know once he’s good and ready. So wind your neck in and stop listening to talkshite and those other Manc loving media cunts out there cos they know fuck all about our beloved club.

  • xx says:

    THE ONLY TRANSFER THAT MATTERS AT ARSENAL THIS SEASON IS THE FIRING OR RESIGNATION OF WENGER. THE TEAM HAD A RECORD COLLAPSE, THE GOOD PLAYERS ARE RUNNING FOR THE EXITS AND THE MANAGER IS WAITING TO PICK THE LEFTOVERS CLAIMING EVERYONE IS SITTING TIGHT. WHAT UNIVERSE DOES THIS AVERAGE COACH LIVE IN. ARE BARCELONA WAITING, ARE MADRID WAITING, ARE MANU WAITING. EVEN IF THEY WERE WAITING THEY DO HAVE GOOD TEAMS, BUT THEY ARE NOT. INSTEAD, THEY ARE RAIDING “SMALL CLUBS” LIKE ARESENAL FOR TALENT. I AM SICK OF WENGER.

  • jii says:

    Nice article, thumbs up

  • damned says:

    I must stay away about Arsenal news…

    but I always curious about Arsenal plan this summer 😀

    I knew the next 2 months will be suck.

    Just hope the best for Arsenal..

  • Joeswage says:

    Thank for a satisfy article like this, but wenger stil nd player

  • Obi says:

    Totally true..am also getting bored of these stories..thanks for opening our hearts out…

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